Learn from my Failure: Unsolicited Laughter

I consider myself someone who takes criticism – particularly of my work – relatively gracefully. Maybe I don’t give a big smile and a warm “You’re absolutely right,” all the time, but I try not to bite either. I know that feedback is – usually – intended to uplift me as an artist, and take my work a step or two further than I’d pushed it myself.

Today, I acted ungracefully.

I’ve been working on Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time for over a year now. Of all projects I’ve ever worked on, this has been the most rewarding – by far. The game is truly a triple A title, both beautiful to look at and fun to play. I’ve done some of the best work of my career on this project, and take great pride in the team I’ve been matched up with. A greater group of talented, enthusiastic, and collaborative spirits I have never known.

One such artist, and in fact one of the artists I respect most in the video game industry as a whole, stopped by my desk today to have a look at what I was doing. AND THEN ZOMG ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!

Okay, to be fair, I was rather tired, having had only about 4 hours of sleep and coming in extremely early. Also in my defense [whiny voice], this particular shot was one I had really been fond of, and had thought was turning out quite nicely.

You fellow animators will know, when someone looks at your work and doesn’t say anything, that’s a bad sign, and a gut wrenching feeling. So I gritted my teeth as he watched it loop over and over, and waited for the “It’s good… but...”

That never came.

Instead, what he said was “Well, [Deep gut laugh] it’s not there yet.”

Again in fairness, it wasn’t the most tactful criticism. Even in reading the words, they seem incredibly un-harsh. Any animator knows, however, that an unsolicited laugh is one of the most stinging criticisms one can receive, yet I implore you not to think harshly on his response. To start, he very sincerely apologized soon after. It’s what happened next that is the truly shame-worthy action – or perhaps I should say “RE-action.”

I didn’t exactly pull out my machete and lop off his limbs, but in no uncertain terms, I told him his words were extremely useless, and (like a hormonal teen) made sarcastic jokes about how “helpful” he was being, and I was “sure glad to have his critical eye around to let me know when I’m failing.” Taken aback by my stinging reaction, he apologized and walked away.

He returned to his desk, at which point he IMed me, apologizing again. Still seething, and having had a few moments to think up some more angry words, I typed them out. “If you’re not going to give me ‘helpful’ words, I’d prefer you kept your mouth shut.” “I do this professionally. I know more than you do on this subject” [which is not only unfair, but wrong]. These aren’t exact quotes; as I said, it was early and I was tired, so I can’t give an exact transcript of the discussion.

He profusely apologized again and agreed that, unless asked for feedback, would “keep his big mouth shut.”

I stewed for a while in my own annoyances, staring at my shot. I showed my lead, and to add to my anger, he agreed that it had a long way to go. No it doesn’t, I thought. You’re all blind.

I started pushing here, pulling there, and after a while, had something of a breakthrough… suddenly it clicked, and really worked. I compared it to the playblast that had sparked the unwelcomed response, and could not believe how bad the previous version had looked. My fellow artist, who was not attached to the piece, had seen what I had not.

I then sucked up my pride and apologized to him – not because he was right, but because whether he was right or wrong, my reaction was immature and unprofessional, and for these things I was, and continue to be truly sorry.

We hear constantly “take criticism gracefully,” yet even when we think we practice this mentality, our own personal feelings can blind us to what others, who are not standing so close to the monitor, can see much more clearly.

If my coworker reads this, I want to apologize again, and thank him for his critical eye. After a few more hours of struggle, I now have a shot I am rather proud of, and more importantly, a new wrinkle in the brain: spontaneous laughter as a negative response to my work is a blessing in disguise; an honest, knee-jerk reaction that informs me that “no, my shot is not working.”

Learn from my Failure!

Through The Pixl Glass

My awesome friend Brandon Foster has started a blog that will discuss the making of video games. I am extremely honored to have been one of his first guests.

Please check out his blog -- it'll definitely be a great one to watch!

Through the Pixl Glass

Woot!!!

Interview with Animation Mentor!

I feel a warm bubble in my chest when I think about Animation Mentor. The school literally changed my life and pushed me deeper into the wonderful world of animation and of animatORS than I ever could have achieved on my own.

So when they asked me to film an interview for one of their newsletters, I was extremely excited to have the chance to "give back."

The interview went very smoothly -- their film crew are total professionals! The final footage was split into two films. The first covers going through school as a new parent. The second covers the shot I did that was used for the AM Student Showcase (a HUGE honor I had been dreaming of since before attending AM!!)

Thank you SOOOO much to Bobby, Shawn, Carlos, the wonderful Animation Mentor film and editing crew, and Dana's rockin' mowhawk for EVERYTHING!!

Part 1:


Part 2:


[Please forgive the lisp... I was killing off the tail end of a lung infection when this was filmed]

The Bay Area's Racoons Have Become Noticeably More Theivius.

Post E3, I am now allowed to name drop Sly Cooper. We work together :)

Sanzaru is developing the next installment of the Sly Cooper franchise, and I am extremely lucky to be animating Sly himself! Here is a little demo of the game. Despite cleverly crafted and eloquently phrased criticisms such as:

WHAT THE HELL SUCKER PUNCH IS THE ONLY COMPANY THAT CAN MAKE A GOOD SLY GAME UUUUUURRRRRGGGGGG!

...Sanzaru truly is a top level company with three of the best assets a game studio can have: a desire to prove itself capable of reigniting a beloved franchise, the excitement of a young studio, and a refrigerator stalked with free soda.

Okay the third one is give or take :)

More on Mr. Theivius soon!

Colin's Borg

I had created this animation for Star Trek Online as a tribute to Colin's Bear. Sadly, despite expressed permission from Colin Sanders, the creator of the original animation, the dance was never put into the game. It was fun to make, though!

Coming Up Next...!

One of the best things about life is its unpredictability. Everyone likes getting unexpected packages in the mail. In fact, J.J. Abrams gave a great speech regarding the idea that a mystery is more exciting than its resolution. I would go a step further: I would say that a mystery is often second best to reflection. When I was hired by Sega (then called Secret Level), I remember the overwhelming excitement I had for the "unknown." I knew what the project was that I'd be working on, but I didn't know what to expect of it. That was extremely intriguing. During production, I had an amazing time, but I don't think I realized I was having so much fun until now, two years later, when I reflect back upon it.

I was recently hired by Sanzaru Games. I will be starting in about a week. The interesting thing is, at the same time that I am once again experiencing the excitement of the unknown, I am already feeling the pangs of missing Cryptic. The animation team I've worked with here has been the best group of friends I've made at any job I've ever had, and I know I'll miss them terribly.

I guess the point is: Life seems to balance unknowns and nostalgia pretty well. I am sure that the day I walk out of Cryptic for the last time will be very sad for me.

But I don't think I'll be able to resist a Breakfast Club-style fist-to-the-air. The mystery behind the curtain ahead is a SUPER exciting one!!

Careful What You Claim as "Yours"! Part 2

I mentioned in a previous post that another animator had claimed my work as their own.

Today's lesson: Why I am Thankful I Did Not Out This Person, Nor Seek Retribution.

I would like to, first of all, point out that I never once used this person's name, gender, or from which project they claimed my work. I was contacted privately by several people wanting to know who this person was, and to each one of them I said the same thing: This was not about harming a reputation, or about revenge, it was simply about acknowledging that it is wrong to steal the hard work of others.

After sending several unanswered emails to this animator, I finally called them in order to request that they remove my work from their reel. By the end of the conversation, seeing that they simply were not going to do so, I said I would not press any sort of charges, and that I could not force them to remove my work, but that they should remove it for the sake of their own reputation. I thought it was over at that point.

Nothing doing.

I can't give details with regards to the method they used to attempt to take out their "revenge" upon me, as I don't know what is or what isn't considered confidential information. Suffice it to say, they attempted to get me into trouble with the company I am currently at. Thankfully, I have worked hard to maintain a good reputation, and their attempt fell flat. The point I want to make is this: Be a good soul, treat others with respect, and in the face of turmoil show dignity -- these are the things that will prevent cases such as mine from going any further than a pathetic attempt at retribution.

I had not posted anything with regard to who this person was, or what the work was that was stolen, simply because that's not what I believe in: I am not a vindictive person. However, as I have since learned from others who are learned in the law, had I posted this person's name or work, I could have been in serious trouble for slander (or "libel" is I believe the correct word).

The lesson I want to point out here: if someone wrongs you, do not attempt to publicly scathe them. If they turn out to be a vindictive, aggressive person, they might use anything and everything you say against you.

A clean reputation is so very important in job seeking. I have made many friends in this industry -- and apparently, now, one enemy. I don't want to think of it that way, but a person who would attempt to harm me or my reputation, especially after I've gone out of my way to protect theirs throughout all of this, can certainly not be called a "friend."